do not BUMP characters/imaes/drawings/fanfics, it's only spam.

Updated

It's sweet, but it needs work before I would call it great. More sensory detail - sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste - would do it good, as would a more believable depiction of horse behavior; stallions are very territorial, especially when it comes to protecting their mares. The herbs and such also seem a bit off.

The detail with them going to a human village for help really threw me off. Overlooking the question of wild horses doing something like that, or for that matter of how they moved her - which could be an epic chapter or two all by itself - there is the fact that if Yin were going to die of blood loss it would take a lot less than a few days. Presumably she would have begun to recover by that time, or else died.

Fanfic Bump ^^

Wow this is amazing I love it so much! Cant wait for the second part!

It is sad, but it gets better and worse in the second half ?

I love it , poor Freddom .

Thanks guys, im so glad you like ^^

This is awesome Jack! I LOVE it! I'll try and get the second part done soon 83

i like it! can't fo0r the rest :D