Lost in the deep

Author : may32

Date sent : February 10, 2013

Rating : G (Everyone)

Description : This is a fast story of Mardus past ,The story starts in the colt birth , when a friend is coming on stage.. Always presenting new characters ( please don't steal their names ) thank you :3 Enjoy ^_^!

Length : Very short -

Characters : 2679 visits



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                  G (Everyone)
Lost in the deep
By may32

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This fanfic was rated G (Everyone).


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February 20, 2013
Australia Is not currently on the site
I liked it may ^^
P.S. read mine and tell me what you think xD

February 20, 2013
Usa Is not currently on the site
Did someone like it?:red:

February 17, 2013
Usa Is not currently on the site
Writer : sorry for the grammar mistakes I was so tired when I wrote that part of the fanfic and yes there can be fruit before a snow storm in some parts
Feather : thank you for explaining ;3

February 14, 2013
Is not currently on the site
WriterChick -- Ooone thiiiing -- There CAN be fresh fruit after a snow storm, just a small variety - here, Rosehips, junipers, and hollies grow, but this here is the Midwest. In your area, there may not be. However, I know Holly berries are poisonous and I don't know if a horse can eat Juniper or rosehip.

February 14, 2013
Usa Is not currently on the site
I don't mean to sound rude, but you might want to take a look at these;

the mare was giving he last breaths when she started to spoke

The stallion see the owl with fear eyes and sadness , immediately Gruvus noticed that nothing was alright and tried to see into the cave nothing only the rests of the mare laying in the cave , Markus tried to see into the snow but it was to white ,the strom was too strong and Gruvus can't fly so high , the stallion didn't belive he gone and he have just promised that he will take care of the colt forever, the stallion tried to run out of the cave but Gruvus stop him , his eyes give Markus a signal of feeling and he deny with the head.

there was a time when there wasn`t anymore strom that time was morning.

The day turned to night and none talked, the storm little by little calm down ,there was a time when there wasn`t anymore strom that time was morning. Markus have got awake and left Gruvu to search his foal. The bay stallion moved calm flicking his ears to all directions making sure he will hear something. The morning was warm and friendly, it can be heard the birds songs and the smell of fresh fruit.

There can not be FRESH fruit after a snowy storm. There are lots of grammar problems too. Sorry for sounding so critical:red: , but if something isn't in correct form its really hard to understand for me... Maybe get spellcheck?;)




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