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I can't explain it, but I felt drawn to write this story last night. Over 7 hours I completed it in one day. Hope it helps someone out there!
Enjoy!
Balto: Waste
Started: 20120409
Finished: 20120409
Pages: 38
Note:
Note: This story was inspired by Balto, ©1995 and Balto 2: Wolf Quest © 2000 by Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment. The character’s Dash, Ike, Tamara, Rose, Oto, Hallie, Snap, and the events of this story are © 2012 by Anthony Rotramel. The other characters are copyright by Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.
Ike was walking to his chambers. He was very tired from a long day of running after deer in the forest. The gray and white wolf was one of the best hunters in his unit. The day had gone well and the clan was sure to have food for some time to come. Now though Ike was ready to just head back to his chambers and take a long snooze. His unit had done well enough today that they had the next few days to themselves and Ike planned to spend it relaxing and catching up on some much needed rest.
Suddenly the sounds of yelling assaulted his ears. Ike perked up his ears and listened close, instantly alert to any sign of danger.
Though the young wolf knew that he was as safe as he could ever be inside the Talbourne's cave; old habits died hard, and this particular one was one that Ike didn't want to die at all. He hadn't always intended to be a hunter. He'd trained hard to be a defender in the Defense Force, but in the end he hadn't made the cut. His training still stuck with him though and he scanned the shelf of rock for any sign of the roving defenders that were stationed inside the cave, but saw no one. Ike heard the sound again, this time in a different voice yelling back.
Ike shifted his ears forward and tuned them slightly, turning them in minute angles to zero in on the sound's location. When he spotted the chamber it was coming from he sighed and his body visibly relaxed. “...not again...” He thought. “..why is it always her?”
Ike looked toward his chambers and his heart ached to continue on his way, to snuggle into the pile of leaves he'd left there and drift to glorious sleep.
He turned his head. “...but Tamara is my friend.” He thought. “...from the sounds of it, she's going to need me.”
Ike turned around and walked toward the chamber as the voices continued.
“Yeah well I hate you too you freakin' jerk!” ...that was Tamara's voice.
“That's the thanks I get for raisin' ya huh girl?” ...came the reply in a deep male voice. “You're worthless, get the hell out of my chambers. I did the best I could with you, not my fault you came out wrong.”
Ike sighed and looked at the rock below his paws. He counted in his head. “...one... two... three...” He'd heard these back and forths between Tamara and her father enough to know that it would take her about four seconds after something like that last comment for her to come running outside. “...four...” Ike said softly to himself.
“I hate you!” Tamara yelled. Then Ike heard the soft beat of furred paws on the rock.
Suddenly a dark brown blur shot out of the chamber and past Ike. Ike turned. “...Tamara?”
She didn't stop running. The brown wolf ran toward the top of the shelf of rock.
Ike turned and ran after her.
Tamara reached the top before Ike did and when he rounded the last corner she was sitting at the edge, looking out over the cave.
“...Tammy?” He asked.
The brown wolf turned and saw him standing there. “...hey Ike.” She said.
Ike took one step forward. “...mind if I join you?” He asked.
Tamara shook her head and Ike walked up beside her and sat down.
Tamara sighed. “Well, I guess you heard...” She said without looking at him.
Ike nodded. “Yeah... I was walking to my chambers.”
Tamara sighed again. “I'm sorry.” She said.
Ike chuckled. “Don't be Tammy.” He said. “It's not your fault your parents are *******.”
Tamara smiled sadly for a moment and then sighed.
“What was it this time?” Ike asked. “..couldn't be the hunt, the unit did good, real good.”
Tamara huffed. “The unit did, I didn't.” She said.
“The unit is all that matters.” Ike responded. “As long as we get food we do our jobs, you don't have to make the kill to do your part.”
Tamara sighed. “Try telling that to my father, the fearless hero of the Talkeet campaign.” She sighed. “I just want him to love me, to be proud of me. That's what a parent should do, right?”
Ike nodded.
“Is that too much to ask?” Tamara asked.
Ike shook his head. “It shouldn't be, no, but you can't do anything to change him. All you can do is ignore him.”
Tamara shook her head. “You don't get it Ike. You don't live with him. You try ignoring it day in and day out... at some point it sinks in.”
Ike sighed. “...yeah.. didn't say it'd be easy Tammy.”
Tamara sighed. “I just want him to give me a chance, that's all.”
Ike nodded, not sure what to say.
To tell you the truth. I'd rather go out for three more days than stay home with him... how sad is that?”
Ike just nodded and looked at her.
Tamara looked back at him. “Sometimes... I wonder if it's even worth waking up every day...” Tamara said.
Ike noticed how close to the edge of the shelf she was sitting then. “Tamara... that's not the answer.” He said.
Tamara shook her head. “...then what the hell is?” She said. “For two years you've been telling me this. ...and for two years you're the only one that has given a ***** about me.”
Ike smiled softly. “Tammy... does anyone else matter?”
She sighed. “I... I guess not.” She said.
Ike scooted closer to her. “Tammy... you've got to just ignore him.”
Tamara shook her head. “...I guess.” She said.
Ike smiled. “Tammy, you may not be the fighter he was, may not even be the best hunter in the unit...”
Tammy smiled and bumped his shoulder with hers. “No, that's you.” She said.
Ike smiled. “Well... I'm not sure about that, but... what I'm trying to say is that the unit appreciates you. You pull your weight just like the rest of us, and no one questions that.”
Tammy sighed. “...no one except my father.” She said.
Ike didn't say anything in response for a minute. “Tammy, I care about you... you know that right?”
Tammy sat there for a moment and smiled.
“Yeah, I know you do. We've been friends for a long time...”
Ike nodded. “...since I can remember.” He said. “You're not just a friend, you're my best friend. I think you're a fine wolf Tammy. You've just got to let this stuff with your dad bounce off. You're never going to impress him... hell, you could die saving the entire defense force and he'd probly say you could've done something to live.”
Tammy nodded.
“...just keep fighting Tammy.” Ike said.
Tammy nodded.
Ike put his paw on her shoulder. “Tammy... if you ever get to feeling like that again... like ending your life... talk to me, find me. I don't care if I haven't slept in four days, I'll still talk to you, help you through it.”
Tammy smiled. “Thank you Ike. You're a good friend. I'm lucky to have you.”
Ike smiled back. “I just want to help Tamara.” He said.
She nodded and yawned.
Ike smiled again and stood up. “You should go back and get some sleep. I know you must be tired.”
Tamara finished yawning and nodded. Then she stood up.
“Come on, I'll walk you back to your chambers.”
Tamara nodded and the two started walking down the shelf side by side. They walked in silence until they reached Tamara's chambers. Tamara stepped inside and looked around, then walked back out. “He's gone.” She said.
Ike nodded. “Well go inside and get some sleep.” Ike said. “Things will look better in the morning.”
Tamara nodded. “Thank you Ike.” She said. “Thank you for talking to me.”
Ike nodded. “The wolves here do care about you.” He said. “They may not speak to it much, but you're pretty quiet yourself. Trust me, you're cared for.”
Tamara smiled and nodded. “I know, I just get this way sometimes.”
Ike nodded. “Well, get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow. It'll probably be late because I'm going to sleep for a while... I'm tired.”
Tamara nodded. “Alright Ike, see you then.”
Ike nodded. “You're going to be alright till then?”
Tamara nodded. “I'll be fine Ike.” She said. “I'm feeling better now.”
“Alright, that's good.” Ike said. “Just go in take a minute and breathe and then go to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning.”
Tamara nodded. “Alright, Good night Ike.”
Ike smiled. “Good night Tammy.”
The brown wolf turned and walked into her chambers.
Ike sighed and turned, walking back toward his own. “Why didn't you tell her?” He asked himself. “Every time you talk to her you want to tell her, why don't you?” Ike's thoughts turned to her and he saw her in his mind. Her tawny caramel colored fur framed with dark brown and thin lines of black fading in and out of the contrasting area between the two. Most of all what stood out to him was her flashing green eyes which shown with a luminescence that Ike had never seen rivaled in all the forest. He'd felt a deep connection to the beautiful young female for almost a year now. Every time he talked to her he wanted to tell her how he felt, but he was afraid of her reaction, what if she didn't want him? What if she didn't feel the same for him? Ike didn't know if he could take that or not. His fear of her rejecting him had kept him quiet for the past year. Each time they talked and he didn't tell her his mind kicked him senseless for it, just as it was doing now. “I'll tell her when I see her tomorrow.” Ike thought. He took a deep breath. “Who knows, maybe it will even help her.” Ike smiled and realized that he was standing in front of his chambers. The image of Tamara shimmered and disappeared, swirling out of site beyond the ceiling of the main chamber. Ike looked up and blew a kiss toward the ceiling with his paw. “Sleep well Tammy.” He said to himself. “...tomorrow I'll tell you how I feel... I promise.” Then he walked into his chambers and curled up on the pile of leaves in the corner. He flopped his tail over his muzzle to cover his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing himself just a moment to imagine Tammy lying there next to him, the warmth she would bring to the chambers. Ike smiled and with that thought in mind, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Ike woke just as the sun was going down the next day. He'd expected to sleep all day, so he wasn't surprised at this. He stood and yawned, stretched for a moment and then shook himself off. The gray wolf nudged all of the leaves back into a pile in the corner and then sat down and started to over himself with his paw. He wanted to look his best when he finally told Tammy how he felt. He'd finish getting all the leaves out of his fur and then he'd head up to her chambers. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face. Finally he'd gotten over his apprehension, today was the day he'd find out if she felt as he did, all the fear was gone, replaced with an anxious ache that filled his very soul. Now he had to know. Ike smiled and then turned, walking out of his chamber and up the steep grade toward the next set of chambers.
“So what exactly is wrong with me?!” Tamara yelled. Her beautiful features contorted into a visage somewhere between sobbing and absolute anger.
“You're lazy, you've always been lazy.” Her father, a dark black wolf with silver tipped fur said. “You slacked off in your training for the defense force and failed at that, you just barely made it into the hunters and even there you're lagging behind the rest of the clan. You need to step up and show that you're my daughter.”
“I worked my *** off in training!” Tamara yelled. “...and you know that!”
Her father shook his head. “If you failed you didn't work hard enough.”
Ike was a few chambers down from Tamara's father's when he heard her screaming.
“What do I have to do to get you to accept me?!” She yelled
Her father snorted. “You could start by not making me ashamed to be your father.”
Tears flooded Tamara's eyes. “...you *******.” She said.
“What did you say?” Her father said. He stood up.
“What, now are you going to beat me too?” Tamara said, tears streaming down her face.
Ike took off running toward her chamber, determined to stop her father if he intended to harm her.
“I'll be ***** if any pup of mine is going to talk to me like that.” Her father said. “I worked my tail off to provide for you, gave you everything I could to help you succeed. If you failed it's on you.” He said. “You're worthless, in fact you're worse than worthless, you're a burden.”
“...stop...” Tamara said.
“Two years old and you're still living in these chambers with me, haven't even done enough to set yourself apart to get your own place to live. You're going to live in this chamber until the day you die, you don't amount to anything and you're never going to amount to anything.”
“...stop!” Tamara said. “Stop! Stop!
STOO-OOP!”
Ike just reached the chambers when Tamara bolted past him. She skidded to a stop at the edge of the shelf and looked down at the rocks beneath her paws.
She looked up and saw Ike standing there.
Ike froze and time seemed to slow. The seconds that passed felt like hours.
Tears streamed down Tamara's face, the fur around her eyes wet with tears. She smiled sadly, then stepped forward.
“NO!” Ike yelled.
Then she was gone.
Ike heard a muffled thump and his legs started shaking. He couldn't see anything but the edge of the ledge. His hearing dulled and it sounded as if everything were under water.
Time stopped.
For a moment he was unsure if he was going to be able to remain standing. His vision was fixed on the place on the shelf that Tamara had stood just moments before. As he stared at it he could see her standing there, the sadness in her eyes, the gentle smile. He concentrated on the image, unwilling to let it go, as if by shear will he could force back time and leap forward to catch her.
A shrill scream cut through the haze of his thoughts just then and the bubble of his concentration broke, the image of Tamara fractured and faded.
He shook his head and walked dumbly to the edge of the shelf. More screams echoed upward through the main chamber. Ike stopped walking as his paws brushed the edge of the shelf. Then he looked down.
Tamara lay far below, splayed out on her side as she had landed, a deep pool of red spreading beneath her.
Ike closed his eyes and stepped back from the edge. His legs finally folded up on him and he stumbled sideways and fell to his side. He rolled over and placed his paws on his muzzle, covering up his eyes. He wanted to cry, he knew he should, but he couldn't. He couldn't even breathe. Ike stood up and walked slowly down the ledge around the shelves of rock. After a long period of time he made it to the bottom floor and started heading over to where a large group of wolves had started to gather on the floor of the chamber.
Ike walked forward as if asleep, stumbling slightly, bumping into the wolves one by one as he passed them. Finally he had reached the front row of wolves that were crowded around her.
Ike looked down and saw Tamara laying on the cave floor. He walked forward and looked down at her. Her fur was matted in blood on the side that had struck the unforgiving floor of the chamber, the side facing up seemed untouched, as if she were sleeping; sleeping on a bed of dark red blood. Sleeping with her eyes open. ...it was those eyes that got him the most. Her beautiful green eyes, frozen, open and unblinking with the fog of death clouding them. The luminescence that Ike had loved about them was gone now. Now they were just the every day green eyes of a dead wolf.
Her mouth was open slightly and her teeth were stained pink. A thin line of blood ran from the corner of her mouth down her muzzle to the floor.
She still had the slightest semblance of a smile, now forever frozen on her face.
Finally Ike closed his eyes and cried.
Dash looked over the mass of wolves that crowded the hillside across the narrow stream from where he Aleu and a young hunter named Ike stood.
Dash stepped forward. “Wolves of the Talbourne, hear me!” He called.
The wolves fell silent and he looked over them. “Wolves of the Talbourne Clan, we are gathered here amidst Aniu's great creation to mourn the tragic loss of one of our young wolves. Her name was Tamara, son of Oto and Hallie. She was a hunter in the eighth unit of our providers She served in her capacity honorably. Tamara was two years old. As many of you are aware, Shade snuck into our home just last night and stole this young one away from us. It is a tragedy because she had so much of her life left to live. It is regrettable every time we lose a member of our dear family, but even more so when it is one so young, and even more still when it is by their own choice that they leave us. The first unit of the Defense Force is looking into the causes for her untimely death, but all knowledge at this point affirms that this was indeed her choice and her choice alone. No one is suspected of causing her death. Her fate is in Aniu's paws now. Tamara was clearly troubled by much in our world. Perhaps the great white wolfess will find it suitable to take Tamara into her embrace and take away her pain and turmoil. It is not our place to judge her, for what she did on this Earth nor for the way in which she left us. It is ours simply to keep an eye out for those among us that are troubled and to aid them as much as we can, to steer them away from this horrible tragic conclusion. I knew Tamara personally. She was among the trainees in my unit just one year ago. During her time with me she showed herself to be determined and honorable. Unfortunately our time together was short because she failed to attain the level of training to stay with our unit. However, it was not because of a lack of effort, or of heart. I was sad to see her go. She was placed into the hunters a month later and from everything I heard she was doing her part and carrying her weight with the eighth unit of the Providers. Last night we all lost a family member. Oto lost a daughter, and a promising young life was snuffed out before it's time. May Aniu be merciful and guide our young sister back into her embrace. The body that lies on the ground before me is nothing but he physical husk that remains, we commit it now to Aniu, so that she may have it back to use for her purpose. For from her we are given and to her we return.”
Aleu and Ike stepped up, one on either end of the stiff and cold body of Tamara. They knelt down and gently bit into her fur and carried her over to the stream. Gingerly they lowered her into the water and then let go.
The current caught the body quickly and it started to drift from view. The wolves all turned to watch it as the brown furred body drifted around the corner of the stream.
Dash sighed. “For from dust we were created by her and to dust shall we return, that though our physical body rot, decay and be destroyed, our soul might live on with her forever and ever.”
The body faded from view and the wolves all turned back to face Dash, all but Ike, who still stood in the stream; the cold water rushing over his paws.
“Thank you all for coming out today. Please return and re-enter our home in an orderly fashion. “Defense Force Lieutenants, you have your units.” Dash turned and walked away, leading the mass of wolves back toward the cave.
Ike just stood there, silent.
Aleu saw the look on his face and walked over to her unit. “Second Unit, hold.” She said. “Await my command.” Then she turned and walked back across the stream to the young dark gray and white wolf. “Ike, are you alright.”
Ike shook his head.
“Aleu sighed. “Ike, please be smart.” She said. “I can see you're taking this hard.”
Ike nodded. “She was my best friend.” He said quietly.
Aleu nodded. “I know.” She said.
Ike sighed.
Aleu stood there for a moment. “Ike... if you need someone to talk to...”
Ike turned to her. “I'm not her Aleu.” he said. “You don't have to worry about that. I just...” Ike sighed. “I need to be alone for a while.”
Aleu nodded. “Alright Ike.”
Ike looked back down the stream.
Aleu sighed and turned, walking across the stream to her unit. “Second Unit, on me; move out!” She called.
The last of the wolves began to leave the stream.
Ike walked out of the water and up to a small stand of trees. He just sighed and closed his eyes. “Why...” He asked softly as tears filled his eyes. “...why?”
It was late at night when Ike returned to the cave. Everything carried on as normal when he checked in with the members of Second Unit guarding the Main Entrance. He stepped inside the cave and made his way across the Main Chamber. Wolves milled around the Main Chamber as they always did. Everything was the same.
“...except nothing is the same.” Ike thought to himself.
He turned and headed up toward his chambers. The journey of a few moments seemed like days for Ike as he walked in his dazed state, not really taking in anything around him.
Oto sat at the entrance to his chambers. As the older wolf saw the younger wolf walking toward him he stood and walked toward him. “Ike...” He said.
Ike looked up at him. “...what do you want?” He asked dryly.”
Oto sighed. “I know that... Tammy... she talked to you a lot...” he paused. “...a lot more than anyone else. I was just wondering if you knew what was wrong with her?”
Ike chuckled. “You have to be kidding me, right?”
Oto shook his head. “I never knew she was that... upset.”
Ike shook his head. “Oh come on!” Ike suddenly yelled. “Have you forgotten what you said to her last night?! I'd think you'd be happy, she's certainly not a “burden” to anyone anymore.”
Oto sighed. “You think I wanted this to happen? She was my daughter. I loved her. She was all I had.”
Ike snorted. “Sure, now you say that. It's too late Oto.”
The young wolf walked forward, bumping the older wolf aside with his shoulder as he
passed.
Oto sighed and hung his head. “Ike, listen to me. After I lost Hallie to the Uniea Tammy was all the family I had. Sure, I was tough on her, but she needed someone to be tough on her, to push her to succeed. I never meant for her to...”
Ike whirled on Oto. “To what?!” He yelled. “To freaking kill herself? To actually take your words to heart?! All you told her was that she was worthless, that you were ashamed of her, that she was a burden to you! ...and now, now that she's gone you're feeling guilty and you come to me to make you feel better. Aniu ***** me to hell if I do that! You didn't love her, I did! I helped her when you beat her into the ground! I talked to her when she came crying because all she wanted was your acceptance! Screw you old wolf, you may be a hero in the Defense Force, but you're a failure as a father!” Ike stopped for a second. He was breathing hard and his eyes set into a slant. “I used to want to be you, you were my idol. You're the only reason I met Tammy in the first place... but now I hope to Aniu that I'm not like you. I don't want to be anything like you. You drove your daughter, your own flesh and blood to throw herself off a ledge and kill herself. You want to know what was wrong with her? It was nothing, nothing but you. You might have just as well as carried her up there on your own and thrown her down to the floor.”
Oto sighed normally he would spring into action and fight a wolf for saying such things to him, but fighting was the farthest thing from the older wolf's mind on this night. “Ike, that's not really fair...”
Ike snarled. “Fair? You want to talk about fair, screw you old wolf!” He leapt forward and bowled the older wolf over to the ground. Just as he was about to drop the first blow on Oto's head a firm set of jaws clamped around the fur at the back of his neck and jerked him backward.
“Let me go!” Ike screamed. “He killed Tammy, as surely as he'd torn her throat out in his own chambers!”
The jaws let go of Ike and he dropped to the floor. “Ike stop!” A stern female voice said.
Ike growled.
“Ike, as a member of the Defense Force, of the Second Unit Under Lieutnant Aleu I order you to stop or I will have to take action to prevent violence.” The voice said.
Ike still growled, but climbed to his paws.
The wolf that had pulled him backward was golden furred and her right ear was half torn off. She looked up. “Oto, get out of here.”
The black wolf nodded and took off running for his chambers.
The golden female turned to Ike. “What's gotten into you?” She asked.
“Stay out of it Snap.” He said. “This is between me and Oto.” He started to walk forward.
Snap latched her jaws around his back leg and pulled his paws out from under him. “Ike, stop or I'm going to have to get into it and stop you.”
Ike got back to his paws and whirled around at her. “You didn't hear the things he said to her!” He yelled. “He deserves to be hurt, to be killed!”
Snap's muzzle fell open. “Ike...”
Ike glared at her. “What?!”
Snap stepped closer to him. “Ike, this doesn't sound like you, not the Ike I know. The Ike I trained with would never justify vigilantism and murder.”
Ike snorted. “He is a special case.”
“...and where do those special cases start Ike; when they affect you?” Snap asked. “How is that justice?”
“It's justice because he killed her.” Ike said.
Snap sighed. “Ike, from your own testimony it is clear that she threw herself off the ledge, that her father was nowhere near her. He may have treated her badly made her depressed, but she made the decision to take her life.”
Ike sighed and looked at the rocks below his paws.
“Ike, please don't do anything stupid.” Snap said. “I'd hate to have to hurt my only friend.”
Ike sighed. “I'm not your only friend.”
Snap smiled. “...close enough.” She said.
Ike sighed again. “I need some air.” He said. Then he turned and ran from the chambers.
Snap ran after him.
Ike ran right past the sentries guarding the entrance.
“Hey, come back here!” One of them yelled. “You can't just leave.”
Snap walked up to them. “Let him go.” She said.
“...but Snap...” The other said.
“No buts.” Snap said. “It's alright, he just needs some time alone.”
The sentries shrugged. “Alright Snap.” one of them said.
Snap looked out into the night and sighed.
Ike ran through the night without really having a destination in mind. He just knew he had to get away. When he finally stopped the young wolf found himself at the stream where they'd had Tamara's funeral just that morning.
He was standing on the edge of a stand of trees by the stream's edge. Ike hung his head and closed his eyes. He started to sob and tears rolled down his face.
As he opened his eyes he saw a shimmering vision of Tammy standing beside him. “You were my friend.” He said softly. “You were my FRIEND!” He yelled. He turned and slammed his paw into the fog. It traveled through the vision of the brown female and struck the tree beside him. Ike lost it then and began to savagely beat his paws against the tree. “I loved you!” He screamed into the moonlit night. “Why did you give up?!”
Bark flew in all direction as he used his claws to tear great gouges in the young tree.
“Don't you think I've screwed up! Don't you think I've had plans that didn't work out, wolves that didn't like me?! I've doubted my life! I've been afraid! Why in Aniu's name can I continue, but you couldn't! You didn't have the heart! The courage! ***** you Tammy, ***** you to hell! I wish I'd never known you!” Ike yelled. His words degenerated into an unintelligible growl deep in his throat and lowered his shoulder, slamming it into the tree trunk repeatedly, not paying attention to the jarring pain that wracked his body each time he did so. Finally with a loud crack the trunk of the tree split and it fell to the ground.
Ike stood there, panting steam into the freezing noctunal air. “I loved you...” He said. “why... why did it seem like there was no way out? How could you not know that I cared about you?” He paused. “You never even considered me an option...” He sighed and the burning pain of his attack on the tree flared to life within his clouded mind. “...screw you Tammy.” He said. “I hate you.”
Ike opened his eyes and winced. “His shoulder throbbed in time with his heart beat. He looked down to see a bit of dried blood matting his gray fur.
Ike sighed and stood. He stretched and looked at the fallen tree. Then he turned and limped back toward the cave.
Ike checked in with the wolves guarding the Main Entrance and made his way into the Main Chamber. He looked awful. Leaves and dirt clung to his fur. He'd spent the night in the wild, and it showed. His fur stuck up in tufts here and there and he was starting to limp more and more.
A light peach and white furred female made her way to him from across the chamber. She smiled. “Hey Ike.”
Ike sighed. “Hi Rose.” He said.
Rose smiled. “Look Ike... we've known each other for what, a year now?”
Ike nodded and kept walking. “Yeah, something like that.” He said.
Rose smiled and walked to keep up with him. “Well I was wondering... you're a really awesome guy and I'd really like to go for a walk with you or something sometime.”
Ike sighed. “...not now Rose.” He said.
Rose looked at the floor of the cave, then snapped her eyes back to him, still keeping pace at his side. “...tomorrow then?”
Ike sighed. “I don't think so Rose.”
Rose's ears lowered flat on her head. “Oh...” She said. Her eyes drooped and her tail dropped. She stayed quiet for a moment, then softly said. “Ike, is it me or...”
Ike stopped walking and turned to her quickly. “I said no!” He yelled.
Rose looked at him for a moment, her lips quivering over her canines, then she turned and took off running in the opposite direction.
Ike sighed and headed toward his chambers. He just needed to sleep a little longer, maybe things would make sense then.
Ike woke to a loud tapping against the stone wall of his chambers. He lifted his head. “Who is it?!” He called.
“It's me, Token.”
Ike sighed. “...can it wait?” He asked.
“...not really, no.” Token said.
Ike sighed and got up. He didn't bother stretching or shaking the leaves off of him. He just walked out of his chambers and onto the shelf.
Token took a step back from his friend. “Ike, are you okay, you look like a mess.”
Ike sighed. “I am a mess.” He said. He sighed. “...and not just on the outside.”
“Well, at least that explains it.” Token said.
Ike yawned and stretched. “...explains what?” He asked.
“Why you were so mean to Rose this morning.” He said.
Ike sighed.
“Do you not like her or something?” Token asked.
Ike shook his head. “No, she's a good wolf from what I can tell.”
“Then why were you so mean to her this morning?” Token asked. “She's of the impression you hate her.”
Ike sighed. “I don't hate her I just... have some things going on right now.”
Token looked at Ike. “Ike, you and I have been friends since we opened our eyes. You're like a brother to me. When my sister told me she had a crush on you I told her she should tell you. I didn't think you'd hurt her. At least I figured you'd just let her down easy; not yell at her in the main chamber in front of everyone.”
Ike sighed. “I'm sorry Token.” He said. “I just... it's Tamara.”
Token sighed. “I figured as much.”
Ike's eyes started to blur with tears. “She... she was more than a friend to me.”
Token nodded. “You two were close.” He put his paw on his friend's shoulder. “..were you...”
Ike rubbed his paw across his nose. “No.” He said. “I... I never got to tell her. I was on my way to... when she...” Ike stopped and sighed. “...when she jumped.”
Token nodded. “Well... that certainly makes more sense now.”
Ike sighed. “Still, I shouldn't have yelled at her like that... not in front of everyone especially.” He paused. “Rose really has a crush on me?”
Token nodded. “She did.” He said. “I imagine she still does.”
Ike nodded back. “Hm...” He said. “Well, I never really thought about it before, but...” He smiled and bumped his shoulder against Token's. “She is pretty cute.”
“Hey now.” Token said with a smile. “That's my little sister you're talking about.”
Ike chuckled and smiled.
It felt good to smile.
“Where is she now?” Ike asked.
Token smiled back. “She's in our chambers.” He said. He sighed. “She was pretty upset.”
Ike nodded and his smile faded. “Well... I think I'll go talk to her.”
Token nodded. “I think she'd like that.”
Ike smiled again and wrapped his paw around Token's neck. “Thanks Token. I needed someone to talk to.”
Token ducked out of the hug and chuckled yeah, yeah, now go un-break my sister's heart please. I can only stand so much crying and emo talk.”
Ike chuckled. “Alright, see you around Token.”
Token nodded. “Good talking to you Ike.”
Ike started walking down the shelf. “You too Token.” He called over his shoulder.
Rose lay on the rock floor of the her chambers, her paws over her eyes. “My life is over.” She thought. “Brother was sure that he would at least talk to me, instead he hates me. How will I ever face him again? I'm so embarrassed. I should have known the best hunter in the clan would want nothing to do with me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
“Knock, knock.” Ike said as he tapped on the wall of her chambers.
Rose lifted her paws and glanced toward the door. “..who is it?” Rose asked.
Ike smiled. “It's Ike.” He said. “I was wondering if you wanted to talk.”
A smile slid across her muzzle. “...of course I do.” She thought. “...but I'm going to make you work for it first hehe.”
She made the smile disappear and put her paws back over her muzzle. “Go away!” She called.
Ike sighed. “Look, Rose, I was an idiot earlier. Can we just talk, please?”
Rose sighed. “Sure, come in.”
Ike walked into the chamber. “Rose, I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I... wasn't in the best frame of mind.”
Rose nodded and stood, turning her head away from him and pointing her nose at the ceiling slightly.
“Still want to go for that walk?” Ike asked.
“I don't know.” Rose said. “You “were” a jerk earlier, maybe I'm not interested in jerks.”
Ike sighed. “Come on Rose, cut me some slack. I've been pretty torn up over Tamara's death. I... kind of had a thing for her.” He said.
“Awwww.” Rose thought. “...poor guy.”
“...besides.” Ike said. “You should know a guy would have to be crazy not to want to go on a walk with a wolf as cute as you.”
Rose couldn't help it, a smile almost immediately split her muzzle.
“He thinks I'm cute!” She thought.
“Well... I suppose I can make an exception.” She said.
Ike smiled. “...really?”
Rose chuckled back. “...of course really, are you kidding? ...let's go!”
Ike smiled and stepped back. “...after you Rose.”
The peach colored wolf smiled and walked out of the chamber. Ike followed her.
Ike chuckled. “I guess that's true.” He said.
He ducked under a branch and held it back with his paw for Rose to step through. “I never really thought of her like that.”
“What are you kidding me?” Rose asked. “Aleu is terrifying.”
Ike laughed and hopped over a fallen tree. “You should try having her yell at you.” He said.
Rose smiled. “That's why the Defense Force or the Provider's are not for me. I'll be happy just sitting in my chambers with a littler or two of pups thank you very much. Leave the dangerous stuff to strong guys like you.”
Ike chuckled. He stopped and though for a minute. “Rose...”
Rose turned to him and smiled. “...yes Ike?” She asked.
“Well... I'm having a really good time walking and talking with you.” Ike said. “I'd... I'd like to do it more.”
Rose smiled and stepped forward. She leaned close and nuzzled him. “I'm enjoying it too.” She whispered in his ear.
Ike almost jumped back. “...whoa Rose, back up a bit there.” He said. “Token would skin me alive if he knew what was going through your head.”
“...and it hasn't gone through yours?” She asked.
Ike chuckled. “That's not the point.”
Rose giggled. “So you're going to let my brother lead you around by the nose?”
Ike laughed. “I like my skin on my body thank you very much.”
Rose giggled again. “Oh alright.” She said. “I suppose that can wait hehe.”
Ike breathed a sigh of relief and looked back at her. “Rose always seemed so young and innocent. I never thought that she'd...” Ike stopped his thoughts right there. “Shouldn't even be thinking of that. It's much too soon.”
Ike smiled. He looked up and realized they were almost back to the bend in the stream where they had returned Tamara's body to Aniu.
In the five hours he'd walking and talking with Rose the brown wolf hadn't entered his mind but this one time. He'd been happy. He'd never thought he'd be happy again.
Ike turned to Rose. “Hey Rose, can you wait here for a second. I have something I need to do.”
Rose nodded. “Sure, I can wait on you forever and ever Ike.” She said. “...long as you come back.”
Ike chuckled. “...she really is crazy.” He thought. “...but maybe that's what I like about her.”
Ike turned and walked through a sparse stand of trees until he was standing once more in front of the stream. He looked up at the sky and squinted his eyes as the sunlight nearly blinded him.
“Tamara, I loved you.” He said aloud. “I never got the chance to tell you, but I did. These past few days since you left me have been hard. You took my best friend away from me. I started to slip into the same spiral that sent you down the path you chose for yourself. I alienated those close to me. I fell off the path Aniu has set for all of us to walk through. ...but I'm not you. I'm not going to just give up. I believe Aniu has a plan for all of us. She gives us life and sets that life in motion for a reason. We all have a purpose in being here. I have had my doubts. I've failed. I've made bad decisions and I've had plans that didn't work out. It doesn't mean I should take my life out of her paws and choose to end it. To do so is to say that I understand her plan for me and to say that it is worthless. That is not something I presume to understand, and certainly not something I am willing to do. We are different you and I. I thought I loved you, that I knew you, but obviously I did not, because the Tamara I knew would not have abandoned me as you did. I could've given you a life of happiness. I could've helped you, but you decided not to seek me out, and took yourself away from me and away from the entire clan. That is not something I am sure that I can ever forgive you for, but I hope Aniu can. I hope wherever you are, that she can help you, perhaps you can still learn the lessons she had to teach you before you gave up. Me, I'm not going to give up. I'm going to stand back up and get back on the path. Life does suck sometimes, but that's life. You get lemons and you have to make lemonade out of them. That may just be our purpose in being on this Earth. To learn to accept things for what they are and learn to be patient, not to demand more. As for me. I'm moving on. Good-bye Tammy.”
He smiled. “Thank you Aniu. Thank you for sending my friends. They saved me. Thank you for not abandoning me. I'm sorry if I thought you would.”
“Hey Ike!” Rose called. “Are you done staring at the clouds?”
Ike looked back down and chuckled. He turned his head over his shoulder. “Yeah, I'm coming Rose!” He called.
Then he turned and ran back to her.
Rose giggled and the two wolves started walking back through the woods.
The wind blew and the leaves moved aside at the top of the trees over the stream. A white wolf with piercing blue eyes sat in the branches high above the ground. She watched the two wolves as they laughed and took off running through the clearing along the stream, side by side. The white wolf smiled. The wind blew through her fur and she tilted her head upward and vanished in a flash of light.
THE END
This has been a story. It was a very emotional story. It was a rough ride for our character Ike. Suicide is a choice that affects far more than just our own lives. It affects the life of everyone around us. I've been in that mindset myself before, and actually it was you here at Baltosource that pulled me through it. If I can make it so can you. If you're thinking of committing suicide please find someone to talk to. A friend, a family member, even an anonymous councilor. Anyone that can keep you from following through with it. Life is much too precious to waste.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:49 pm 
but it was a good read nun the less.