How To Be A Villain

--by JerseyCaptain--

(DISCLAIMER: The information presented here is not intended to be taken seriously.  It is a presentation of some real, light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek books which can normally be found in the "humor" section of most book sellers, and thus are intended for entertainment purposes only.  And while these books are not Despicable Me or Minions merchandise, the themes covered in each book fit the three movies perfectly--which is why I have included them on Despicable Me Source!)

After you have seen Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2, and perhaps also Minions, you will no doubt spend some time imagining the inestimable challenges and excitement of a life of supervillainy!  Many have sought such glories, but few have ever succeeded in attaining them.  Supervillainy, after all, is not for the merciful...not for the gentle...and not for the altruistic.  No, it is only attainable by those willing to grab the opportunity by the horns, stare it straight in the eyes, and toss it on its keister!  Only then can world domination and incomparable power be realized!

Below are four books, published by two different authors (and two different publishing companies), which may very well help in setting you on the path to this potentially rewarding career, and all the glories and personal profit which can be reaped!  Read on, read well, and keep this out of the hands of those annoying secret government agents and goody-goody superheroes!

So you want to be a supervillain, do you?  Well then it's time to start building your evil library!

 

---

How To Be A Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans And More!!!

Author: Neil Zawacki
Illustrations: James Dignan
Published By: Chronicle Books
160 pages, hardcover

From the OverDrive page about the book:

A delightfully evil gift, How to Be a Villain is a step-by-step guide to joining the forces of darkness.  Because, though villains may never win, they sure have more fun, hatching master plans for world domination, smoothing their dastardly tights.  Neil Zawacki answers all the most urgent questions: Should I go with a black or red theme?  Do I invest in an army of winged monkeys or ninja warriors?  And just where will I put the evil hideout?  Whether readers choose to pursue a career as a Criminal Mastermind, Mad Scientist, Corporate Bastard, or just a Wanna-be Evil Genius, they are sure to find plenty of tips for jumpstarting any evil enterprise.  Cheaper than attending the annual bad guy conference and way more fun than being good, How to Be a Villain is guaranteed to elicit deep-throated evil laughs across the land.

LINKS:
Amazon.com
Goodreads
 

---

The Villain's Guide To Better Living

Author: Neil Zawacki
Illustrations: Bill Brown
Published By: Chronicle Books
128 pages, hardcover

From the OverDrive page about the book (slightly edited):

All those aspiring ne'er-do-wells who cackled all the way to the cash register with the best-selling How to Be a Villain are ready to embrace the finer points of the evil life with The Villain's Guide to Better Living.  Within lie the answers to such trying questions as: Home decor - Gothic?  Apocalyptic?  Ikea?  Friends - Do I have any?  Can I make them?  Work - Should I be a mad scientist or a corporate jerk?  Written by the author of How to Be a Villain, this fiendish lifestyle guide is a must-have for any villain who knows more about programming TiVo than about entertaining with panache.

LINKS:
Amazon.com
Goodreads

 

 

---

The Supervillain Handbook: The Ultimate How-To Guide To Destruction And Mayhem

Author: King Oblivion (Narrator/Co-Author: Matt D. Wilson)
Illustrations: Adam Wallenta
Published By: Skyhorse Publishing
192 pages, paperback

From the OverDrive page about the book:

Looking for a way out of the rat race?  Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life?  Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects?  Then professional supervillainy might just be for you!  With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil.  Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

LINKS:
Amazon.com
Goodreads

 

 

---

The Supervillain Field Manual: How To Conquer (Super) Friends And Incinerate People

Author: King Oblivion (Narrator/Co-Author: Matt D. Wilson)
Illustrations: Adam Wallenta
Published By: Skyhorse Publishing
224 pages, paperback

From the OverDrive page about the book:

With so much good out there, the time is now to take off those henchmen training wheels and become a full-fledged supervillain!  With lessons from the founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains (ISS), King Oblivion, Ph.D. will craft you step-by-step into a fine-tuned anti-hero.

The Supervillian Field Manual is complete with every strategy the aspiring malevolent overlord needs.  You will learn how to:Handle unruly hostages

• ~ Control your minions
• ~ Deal with increased notoriety
• ~ And much more!

It's time to emerge from your clandestine lair with bad intentions and start exacting the kind of vengeance that only an all-universe supervillain like yourself can handle.  So keep honing your rage, fine-tuning your lasers, and remember...keep your enemies close, and your Super Friends closer.

LINKS:
Amazon.com
Goodreads