Animation Source Forums

My name is Togo, the former administrator of Animation Source. Today I will tell you a story you don't want to hear - the dark secrets behind Animation Source.

I do not overestimate my influence when I say that behind Steet, I am the most important member this site has ever had and will ever have. I am part of the foundation of Animation Source; I played a leading role in creating it. My name, Togo, is carved in its history.

I always did my best to give back to Animation Source what Animation Source gave to me. Every single day of my life for 5 years Animation Source was in my heart. Taking care of this site was the goal of my existence. The well-being of its members was the aim of my day. Every day.

Look around the site. You must thank me for lots of the beautiful things you see here, and most of them are gone now... But I'll come to that later, when I tell you how and why Animation Source has died. Because yes, Animation Source is dead. But let's start from the beginning.

Animation Source made me rich

If you weren't here in 2010, you may not know me. I was part of the Balto community since 2004, months before Balto Source even existed. I joined this site as soon as it started and I became a moderator on May 18, 2005.

I remember everything. All the people that were there, all the good members. We used to have a lot of fun, you know. No flame wars, no fights. Just a small group of friends having fun together.

I took Animation Source by hand and carried it from being a small site to the big community it is now. I played a big role here; I was Steet's right hand.

Then everything changed. My life changed.

I left the site on December 2010 and this is the first time I ever visited since then. I didn't decide to leave, I was left behind. I was abandoned. Steet got rid of me in the worst way you could possibly imagine. I'm not going to share the details, just know this: it was the single most painful experience in my life.

You have no idea how much Animation Source changed my life. If it wasn't for this site, I wouldn't have made all the incredible achievements I fulfilled.

English is not my first language you know. I am Italian; I didn't speak English before joining this site. Here I learned a new language, made friends, I even met my first girlfriend on Animation Source. I studied abroad for a semester, I won scholarships all over Europe, and I graduated from university with good marks. Now I'm writing to you from my apartment in Orlando, Florida.

None of this would have happened without Animation Source.

Maybe I would still be in Italy, living a mediocre life, I would have never met some of the greatest people I ever met, I would have never done this much. I would be a different person.

Animation Source made me the person I am now. Can you relate?

Animation Source made me cry

You cannot even begin to understand what I went through when I was left behind. A part of my soul was ripped out of my chest, leaving a painful scar inside me. I was shattered. I cried.

It took me two years to recover. It took me two years to prove to myself I could carry on, that I could live without Animation Source. It took me two years to write this post, two years in which I suffered.

I had to graduate from university, move to the other side of the world; get a job I couldn't dare to dream about just months before, start my own business against all odds. It took me this much to prove to myself that my life could be complete even without Animation Source.

It took me two years to write this because I didn't want to come back in anger. I carried anger and sorrow and pain in my heart for so long it had become a part of me.

And I knew I couldn't bear it. I knew that coming back to this place would have opened the wound in my heart again. Animation Source almost killed my soul once; I wouldn't let that happen again.

So I waited, and I waited, and I waited.

Now my anger is gone, I will stand strong. I will not shatter, I will not feel pain.

I am ready to face my nightmare.

I come back as the man who shaped Animation Source and was forgotten.

I come back to tell you why Animation Source has failed.

Animation Source has failed because it destroyed a lot more than it has created

I have seen many great things on Animation Source. I have seen people who met on here getting married even though they lived in different countries; I have seen people who had their life changed drastically for the better forever. Among them, myself.

But I have seen the dark side, too. I have seen lives torn apart for no reason, meaningless slaughters of souls only for pure evil. I have seen people destroyed. Among them, myself.

I cannot conceive that a site that gave so much, took away so much more. I cannot conceive the evil I have seen here. People toying with other people's lives as if it were a game to them, a fun sadistic game.

The Ying and the Yang, there can't be light without shadows. There have always been shadows here, but they were balanced by great light, a light of friendship. We were a brotherhood of caring people watching each other's back, having fun. I come back and I see only darkness, a hopeless night ruled by daemons.

Animation Source has failed because it killed a wonderful creature

Call me an old grandpa, but I recall the good old days. The days before Balto Source, the days you have never seen. There were only two Balto movies back then; Wings of Change wasn't out yet.

We were friends. Not just a group of people sharing the same interest, a lot more than that. We were a family. We are a family.

Those very people I met almost 10 years ago, I still talk to them. I have seen them change, they have seen me grow.

None of them are here: some left, some never joined Animation Source. I am the last. Me and Steet.

I do not see a family here. I see a big city. People barley looking at each other, rival bands, fights. This is not a nice city, the kind of city you'd move to with your family. Animation Source is that dangerous town with theft and rape, kidnapping and murder.

The first victim of such murder is the very community Animation Source was founded upon.

That wonderful creature that once was the Balto community is long gone and will never come back. Animation Source killed it, buried it and forgot about it. The wonderful creature is the band of brothers we once were, the friendships, the community.

I was there when it all happened. I was there, and it was my duty to avoid it. Not my job, my duty.

Listen to these words, because the true root of evil resides here.

Many moderators refer to their task as “job”, as it was something imposed by others. They need to get their job done as moderators, so they will be rewarded with a green name and the right to feel superior.

To me, it has never been about the title, the honor, the right to brag, the power. It was about what was right. I wanted to help and improve Animation Source above and beyond the call of duty; the wellness of this site was everything to me. It was my life.

Nobody ever cared about Animation Source more than me, not even Steet himself.

I tried to keep the wonderful creature alive; I swear I tried with all my strength. But the more I tried, the more Animation Source drifted apart from its righteous path. It became an untamed beast I could no longer recognize.

Still I did all I could to keep the wonderful atmosphere I breathed back then. I tried my hardest until the beast devoured my soul.

Animation Source has failed because it could have been so much more

When I look at Animation Source I see a huge potential. Potential to become something more, to rise above the average Internet community.

I see a dormant potential that hasn't been unleashed.

I have seen such potential in action. Remember the good old times? Remember that couple that got married thanks to Animation Source? Remember that group of online friends that have been talking for over 10 years?

I see a similar potential here, but greater.

Greater because Animation Source is bigger, there are more members. But such a potential goes to waste on a daily basis due to fights, incompetent staff, hatred, fights.

Why Animation Source is dead

Animation Source is dead because what I see here is not the happy place it used to be. It is a devourer of dreams, of souls, of happiness.

There have always been problems, but I kept them under control. I hoped this place could live well without me, but it didn't. It underwent a slow and painful death.

Animation Source is dead because it cannibalized itself.

Nobody killed Animation Source, but Animation Source itself. The darkness spread, devouring the light, mercilessly murdering the wonderful creature it once was. The putrid carcass was left to the dogs, rotting beneath the sky.

This site has degraded: from the members, to the staff, to Steet. Here I see hatred, I see corruption, I see evil and I see greed. What I do not see is the caring community of friends I witnessed when I was running the show.

Think about what you love the most. Your boyfriend or girlfriend, your dream, your faith. Think about it now.

Imagine what you would feel like to be abandoned, to be left without reason after everything you have done. Look at it as it destroys itself, while you can do nothing but look from the distance.

This is how I have felt for the past two years. Animation Source was everything to me, but I was abandoned after years of efforts, sweat and tears and blood. Then I looked at it degrading day after day, powerless.

Years of my life, wasted.

This is how I felt as Animation Source died. This is how I felt as the wonderful creature I helped creating suicide ruthlessly.

An open letter to the Animation Source members

Yep, I'm talking to you reading this message. I also include the ones with the green name, because moderators are primarily and most importantly members.

The site is yours; you ultimately decide what is going on in here. As a community, you have the power to make Animation Source anything you want. Not the staff, not some screaming cunning guy, not Steet.

You.

With great power comes great responsibility. You are to be thanked and complimented for all the good I witnessed, but also to be blamed for the decay in which Animation Source lies.

What do you want to do?

You are the heart and soul of Animation Source. You as a community changed lives for the better and for the worse, made dreams come true. Realize this: someone, somewhere, will always remember Animation Source as the single best thing in their youth. And the most life-changing.

I loved some of you, I hated some others. But ultimately, you made me a better person and for this I must thank you.

I am also part of you. Even as an administrator, I always considered myself a member. A member with a bigger responsibility, a member entrusted with the duty to make Animation Source a better place for everyone.

Everything I did was with such goal in mind.

I was naïve.

Do you care about Animation Source? Really? If you do, you'll spread this message. Because this is a message that deserves to be read and read and read again by every member. This is the legacy I leave to all of you, one that will hopefully bring this place back to its glorious past. But it can't happen if nobody reads it.

And if you have something to say, you will leave a comment below.

An open letter to the staff

I know some of you, I also see new faces. I've got one question for you.

What are you doing?

Chill. You are not the president of any country; you are not the manager of a multi-million dollar company. You are here to make Animation Source a great place to stay, not to satisfy your own lust for power. The moment you forget this, you are not worthy of your status anymore.

I removed a lot of mods for this. I see you admins are not doing it anymore. Actually I have seen the opposite taking place.

You are another reason why Animation Source is dead. Blame it on Steet, blame it on that troll, blame it on whoever you want. But know this: you are part of the problem, while you are supposed to be part of the solution.

You are a peer among peers, a member among members. You need to work hard on every task, including the boring ones.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun, you should. Animation Source is meant to have fun, if you don't like to be a mod you shouldn't be one.

You should have fun in helping the others, making the site a better place to stay. It's not about the power, it's not about banning people you don't like to get your revenge, and it’s not the fancy shout box for mods or the green name. It's about helping others, it has always been.

This is how I used to pick moderators, by how helpful they were, by how much they helped people and contributed to make Animation Source a better place. It is not required to be a mod to be helpful.

I did not appoint mods that were my friends and removed those I didn't like, because that means hurting the site. And yes, many new administrators are guilty of this crime.

An open letter to Steet

You know I'm nostalgic, big boss.

Do you remember TIB?

You joined just a few months before me, in 2004. When I made my introduction topic, you were the first to reply. TIB was the first forum I joined, the first thing I ever wrote on the Internet. Bu now I wrote three books and published two, created an online business, wrote hundreds of articles. It all started with that.

Since 2004 I stood beside you, I stood for you. You know I did.

From the day you made me a moderator I always had Animation Source's best interest in my heart, I helped you a lot. I like to think that a reason why you created Animation Source is that you found out I could run Balto Source efficiently. I made a lot of decisions, all of them for the good of your site. I made a lot of improvements.

I knew my stuff, my decisions were right. I never let you down, not a single time. Not even in harsh times.

This is why I need to ask you one question.

Why?

Why have you been so eager to get rid of me? Why didn't you trust me when I needed it the most? Why did you get rid of your best moderator and administrator? Why did you force me to leave Animation Source for good?

I speak as someone who gave everything for you, for your site. I gave my heart and soul for Animation Source, my sweat and my blood. I speak to you begging for an answer.

Maybe it is because you don't understand. You never fully grasped how much I cared, how much I was willing to give for Animation Source. All the trouble I went through to keep you free from worries, to screen you from the daily annoyances.

Only once the dirt that hit the fan reached you instead of me, that time you decided I wasn't worthy of your trust. After 5 years I loyally spent working on your site, you decided I wasn't worthy of your trust.

I don't really know what else to tell you, big boss.

On one side, I should thank you. I should thank you because without your site I wouldn't be the person I am today, I wouldn't have the happy and fairly successful life I'm enjoying right now. You changed my life as well as many others. That's also something you always failed to understand.

But on the other side, I should hate you with all my heart.

I should hate you because of what you did to me. Not only in the epilogue of our story, but during time. Your constant lack of trust, of communication, of help. It often felt like I was the only one who cared about Animation Source, so much more than you. I felt alone.

First you made me an admin and told me to take care of Animation Source, then you tried to make my job as hard as possible. And believe me, you managed pretty well. Every time you made a big change without even letting me know, I had to spend days to make everything work again.

Face it big boss, you didn't have time to know Animation Source inside and out as well as me. While you were living your life, the site you created transformed under my guidance. I did it for you, not for myself. I knew that my prime task was to keep things simple for you, so that you could focus on more important stuff. That's exactly what I did for years as long as you allowed me to.

You know that things have gotten bad since I left. I don't know if you regret your decision, I don't care anymore.

These are my bittersweet feelings for you, Steet.

An open letter to “you”

You know who you are, I know you do.

I don't know if you'll ever read my last words, I don't even know if you are still around. But my heart is telling me you are.

I write to you with no more anger, for I spitted out all the anger I could bare two years ago. I come back to you with no more sorrow, for it died of starvation after it ate my soul. I come to you as an entirely new man.

Only we know the truth, only we know what really happened. Away from the crowd and away from the stage, you may be the person who understands me the most. You understand me, because with your hands you took what I loved the most away from me. You wanted to take everything from me.

Even though you understand me, I still don't understand you. I don't understand your purpose; I don't understand the reason of your action. Your logic always eluded my understanding; I cannot decipher your thoughts and actions. Perhaps it is pure evil. No, you must have had a plan. You always have a master plan.

Perhaps I should even thank you. After you burned my soul, from the ashes arose a new stronger me. The havoc you left in me was the sad necessary foundation of a brighter future. Perhaps without you I would have never moved to the other side of the world, perhaps Animation Source wouldn't have given me the time to start my business.

But I don't know for sure, I don't know what I could have done if you didn't exist. But I know that now I am happy, and this is all that matters.

Listen to my last words

This is the epilogue, this is the end. It took me weeks to write the post, I needed to resurrect all the feelings I hid for so long.

But I had to do it. I couldn't leave Animation Source like I did two years ago. It was not right, it was not just.

Have fun, live your life, make it awesome. Such are my last words.

You think it has nothing to do with Animation Source? You are wrong.

Animation Source is not just another site, not for me. It's part of my life, my philosophy; it made me what I am. This is the lesson I ultimately learned from Animation Source, a lesson of life.

Be who you want to be. Your success depends on you, so do your failures.

I deserve one last message, one last time in the spotlight. I deserve it, because I gave so much before being left for dead.

Because after all the words have been said, a piece of my heart will remain inside Animation Source forever.

Wow. I joined back in 2009 but my English was way too limited to really notice much of the things going on here (Sort of similar to you I only started to /really/ learn English as a language on here, sort of taught by talking to the friends I made.) But I really wish I could have seen AS or better BS as for that matter back in it's gllorious days.

This is the first post I've made here in a long time.
I left...around two years ago? Maybe? I'm not sure, it feels like yesterday when I was still an active member on the site.

Anyways, I left because things were going out of control. Rules were broken, new ones were added, they were broken. I got to the point where I felt so limited on what I could do, that it wasn't fun anymore.

I found the site in late 2007. I was looking for a picture of Balto to draw, and when I found Balto Source and all it's pictures I was so happy. Once I figured out you could join (this was in 2008) I did. I was only 10 years old at the time, so I couldn't contribute much, but I loved the site regardless.

I met so many amazing people on this site, and I still keep in touch with most of them on Deviant Art. If it hadn't been for AS, I probably would be so into drawing as I am now. I'm not an amazing artist by any means, but it's one of my favorite things to do.

I will share your message. Thank you for all of your commitmentand care for this site. I know I was around for the OLD days, but I was around just before the site went completely down hill. It was a great thing for me, and I hate to see what it has become.

Man this is tragic, I guess all things decay, become corrupt and their own enemy in the end.

Edited by the AS Moderation team

There was no need for this type of insulting comment in this topic.

'Ay! It's good to see you back, sorry I wasn't in Florida when you first moved there or I would've given you a big welcome. I plan to go to Florida either next year or 2015, so we must meet up then.

Thanks for sharing the story, it's a shame that happened to you but it's great to know that you've become someone great! Can I ask, what are the names of the books you wrote? I'd love to buy them and pick them up some time.

They're all in Italian, my native language.

1 - http://www.autostima.net/raccomanda/ris ... fano-mini/
2 - http://www.mindcheats.net/inglese-dinamico-completo (not yet released to the public)

I like your points made Togo, glad to see everything worked out for you. I've been around since 2004 aswell seen TiB and observed all the changes which occurred since those early days. Change is needed definitely, many people have been nuked from the community because of the bad image which comes from a few people which seems to cloud what has happened because of all the good.

Honestly, I feel similar to you from being here for a longest time helped me expand my skills with computers and studying how websites worked to create a actual business out of it.

Also, if you're ever free sometime and I'm in the area we should definitely meet up! I'm only a few hours away now compared to where I was living in 2010.

I don't know what to post, but I suppose there's a need for me to reply.

Like Togo, as well as many other members, I grew up with Animation Source. It /was/ nice back in 2007, and even though I was young and immature, the people here have helped me grow. I also got in my first relationship here, I learned about the basics of the internet here, and I slowly matured from the guidance of the old team of mods that were here. Eventually I became a mod myself and then leveled up to an administrator (appointed by Togo himself) and I then learned more tools for life: how to manage and lead.
Since the big war between the staff and then leading up to the big staff removal, I did indeed see how AS has fallen apart. Seeing this post left me a lot of emotion and really I couldn't find the words on how to reply to this. I mean, maybe I'll be able to contribute more at a later time. AS is highly unbalanced in the unity and respect of everyone here now, as well as the atmosphere of the whole site has degraded. I had always wished AS would at least be a /little/ bit better, but I feel that it won't happen. I'm always open for moving on and doing a greater good for this community at any time though. I wish more of this community could do the same. :/ Let's make a change, please.

Wow, it's been a while since I posted on this site. I joined back when I was 10, so I joined sometime in 2007, I believe.

I had a few reasons I left the site

1) The better, more popular artists broke every rule, and got away with it, just because they were friends with mods, or just general boot-licking
2) I found another art website which I felt had a lot more freedom, and I'm glad I joined it. Here, it was only wolves and dogs (not to mention being flamed for wolf characters, just because there were so many) where as now, I draw other animals, humans, and more. My art has expanded because I've had much more wiggle-room, but that's not important, as this was a fan-site after all
3) I straight up hated some people on here, and the immaturity. Jersey Captain picked fights with me, all the bigger artists were rude and obnoxious to the artists just starting out, and it was ridiculous.

I pretty much left the site when I found the other, which was about 2 years ago, and I kinda was like a ghost here after that, only coming back to see changes or grab an old character of mine every few months. When I was younger, I do admit, I was really addicted to this site, and I'm glad I grew out of it, as I didn't want to head down that path.

I guess that's all I'm saying here, probably the last time I'll even post.

Ahh, I don't speak / read Italian. Otherwise I'd read it. xD If they ever get translated let me know!

This is a good article Togo. And I know exactly how you feel. This must have taken a lot of strength and courage to put up, let alone create, and I applaud you for it.

When I first came to this site, I was young, like many here. I wasn't even sure how Internet social interaction worked until I came on here. This place, for as long as I've been here has opened my eyes to how helpful people can be both in good ways and in bad ways. This site has given me a lot of happiness and hurt.

After becaming a mod, I really had no idea how to go about it, but I feel under Togo's leadership I did the best I could. Then when he left I wanted to do better. I think I did, despite what some people may think.

You were the best of us, Togo, and this site has suffered greatly without you. I understand your reasons for not wanting to come back, but you left behind a great legacy, and I am glad to have called you a friend.

This article has summed up my feelings of this site perfectly.

AS is rapidly declining and a lot of people are at fault for it. If this place ever returns to the place it was when I first joined or even before that, I'd like to see it happen. If anything I'd like to be part of it, provided I don't lose interest in this place, which is slowly beginning to happen, I'm afraid.

Change is good and this place NEEDS to return to the way it was in 2006. But that's just me.

Whether or not an individual is in favour or Togo, there is no doubt that his words ring true.
This site means something to us. People may say fleeting things about how it has run downhill and how it has been ruined by so many, and yet there is always something that keeps you here, am I right? You know the majority of the members on here are good, kind. There's only a few people that, to put it rather bluntly, spoil it for the rest. I've seen this from the perspective of both a member and a mod. Corruption was ride a few years ago. I have no idea if it still is due to, the new staff, but that is irrelevant.

Four years ago when I first joined, this site was a haven. I joined because I loved Balto. I still do love Balto. I know my gallery is filled with fan characters, but deep down I am a Balto fan.
The members, if they put their minds to it, can turn this place back to how it was. All it would take is a little community spirit. Stop with the degrading comments and the hate towards each other. Honestly, there's no need whatsoever to tell that new member that they're 'just a noob, come back in a few years'. There's no need to lay into an artist because they got your request wrong, or 'my half of the trade is so much better than yours, this isn't fair, draw me something else!'

I've seen it happen. I think a few people will be quick to the wicket and declare 'Fan characters ruined this site!'
Honestly, I think what ruined this site was when people started to hate and become prejudiced toward one another. Power struggles, more to the point. I bet if I had approached you, say eight years ago and said 'In eight years from now you will have shedtears for someone you've never met in real,life.' You'd probably beat me up. Yet I can name at least ten people who have done exactly that, myself included.
'So whether you like Togo or not, really it's in your best interest to restore this site to, for want of a better word, it's former glory. I think if we work together to adopt the same attitude we can.

We can.

Thank you Togo. In all your pain the truth reaches all of us. I hope you live a happy life.

Awh. Togo's books are in Italian. Hmm... Maybe one day they will translate it over here XD.

But yup. I remember the old time. Such a really nice old time. Just fun, fun, and fun. I still find it nowadays. Not that much but there's still some left.
Found this site back in 2005. Joined in 2007. I wasn't really good in English for God's sake XD. But hey, this site, the shoutbox, it helped me to learn English more than ever. I'm fluent enough now. Yay! It was DT or Mantis whom I talked to, I don't remember now. Getting all the bravery to talk with a stranger. Ha. Didn't know I could do that.
Found a best friend in my life ever here. Been talking to her for seven years now. Seven years. Didn't even dare to dream of it. A really really best friend I wouldn't want to lose.

Such a tragic and sad story. I've seen it as well. Bad, bad. But again, I'm still around. Not much, but still around. Made mistakes but will always try to fix it. Ah. Such a really nice old time indeed.
Pure fun. Pure friendship. Everything was just so nice.

Hai again to you, Togo.