Animation Source Forums

17 May 2007
Period of Instruction


BALTO SOURCE
FAN FICTION SECTION
DESK OF RTW
BALTOSOURCE.TIMDURU.ORG/BALTO.HTML


To: My fellow writer's on Baltosource

From: Anthony E. Rotramel (RTW)

Subj: Lesson #2 of -- in the continuing series of writing lessons from RTW: Points of Veiw (PoV) and Voice


Learning Objectives (LO):

1.) To be able to recgonise the four main Points of view possible within a story

2.) TO be able to write in the First Person PoV

3.) To be able to write in the Second Person PoV

3.) To be able to write in the Third Person PoV

4.) To be able to write in the Third Person Omnipotent (3perOmn) PoV

5.) To be able to recognise Voice in a story

Purpose: The purpose of this period of instruction is to provide my fellow writers on Baltosource, both those that have experince and those that are just getting into this exciting activity, with the skills they need to be able to write sucessfully and correctly.

1.) Recognising PoV's in a story


1. To begin to understand the PoV's, it is first imperitive to know what a PoV is. PoV is basically the veiwpoint the story is told from, it can be from one of the Main Characters or an outside source. PoV is the style in which we write the story and there are several different PoV's. Each of these PoV's has it's own set of rules that you must follow to stay true to the PoV which you have chosen to tell your story from. One of the quickest ways to lose readers is to stray from your PoV, and it is one of the mistakes beginning writer's make most often. Therefore this period of instruction has been devoted to establishing the processes of PoV in the writer's mind so that they might better follow the PoV they have chosen.

a.) The first PoV we will talk about is First Person. First person means that the reader is experiencing the story through only one character's veiwpoint at a time. You can swtich Character's, but if you do this you must end the scene before switching characters. The writer can include thoughts from this character, but the minds of other character's are closed to the reader and must be implied another way, such as emotions or actions. The character is telling the story to the reader, so he uses I to denote himself. It is my experience that First Person is one of the hardest veiwpoints to write from. An example of a sentance in the First Person PoV would be: "As I walked down the sidewalk I turned to her. "Hey miss, what's your name anyway?" I asked.

b.) The second PoV is Second Person. The Second Person veiwpoint is rarely used in stories, and indeed, there is only one fiction work that I have seen use the Second Person PoV to great effect, and that is the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. Second Person PoV is usually utilized in self help books and the like, because you are speaking to the reader directly, as "you."An example of a sentance in Second Person would be: "As he walked down the sidewalk he turned to you. "Hey Miss, what's your name anyway?" He asked." See how that sentance involves the reader directly? Second Person PoV (as a primary) PoV should be used sparringly and with great care.

c.) The third PoV is Third Person. The Third Person veiwpoint is used the second most often. In the Third Person the story is told through one character's veiw's, but the character's thoughts remain closed to the reader. When thinking of Third Person PoV you can think of a witness to a crime talking about what he saw. The narrator is outside the action and he usually can't read minds. As such the narrator cannot talk about what the character was thinking. Also, the narrator can't talk about his veiws on what happened such as: "I thought that he was acting strange." ...because you then slip into First Person PoV. THe narrator is a static story teller in third person, telling the story, but keeping his own comments and feelings to himself. An example of Third Person PoV might be: "As they walked down the sidewalk he turned to her. "Hey miss, what's your name anyway?" He said.

d.) The Fourth PoV is Third Person Omnipotent (3PerOmn). This is the viewpoint most used by writers because it gives the most freedom. This is also the PoV that I have used in all of my stories. In 3PerOmn you can imagine that God is telling the story. God knows all, thoughts, feelings, what was said and what happened. It is third person, which means that most of the same rules apply. The main difference between 3PerOmn and Third Person is that in 3PerOmn you can expose your character's thoughts to the reader. You will notice this in my own stories if you look. Sometimes I will tell the reader what three or four of my character's are thinking in the same scene. This is a versatility that is not offered by any other PoV. 3PerOmn reads the same as Third Person, so the example above also fits for 3PerOmn. Just keep in mind that if you're writing in 3PerOmn there is no restriction on presenting your characters thoughts.

2. Recognising Voice within a story

a.) Voice in a story speaks of the character that is telling the story (in the case of First Person PoV or the narrator (in all other PoV's). To understand voice in a story you must first understand what a narrator is, and his/her role in the story (for now we will speak of the narrator's in Second Person, Third Person, and 3PerOmn. We will discuss narrators later in this period of instruction.)

b.) The Narrator is the person or thing that is telling the reader the story. The Narrator can be a defined character, or it can be a nonexistent character who is not directly involved in the story (as in 3PerOmn). The Narrator's job is to provide descriptions of the scenes within a story, descriptions of the characters involved in the story, descriptions of the actions within a story, and also to provide the information that may supplement the information the characters within the story have provided, but are unable of providing further clarity on. (If this sounds confusing, don't worry, we will discuss this again later in this period of instruction).

c.) The Narrator in a story can have different voices, this includes PoV and the "tense" of his speaking. "Tense" refers to the relation of the time that the story is taking place, and the time that the Narrator is telling the story. Usually the Narrator speaks in a past-tense voice. This means that the events of the story have already occured and that the storyteller (the narrator) is telling about them now. The narrator can also be speaking in present-tense (speaking of events that are occuring as the narrator tells them) and even in some cases, in future-tense (speaking of events that will or might happen) The narrator speaking in present-tense is hardly ever used, and the only time that I use the future-tense speaking narrator is when I want to create suspense by alluding to things to come. Primarily the narrator usually speaks in the past-tense though. The combination of PoV and "tense" is called voice.

3. Now you should be able to recognise and write in the four main PoV's and recognize and compose a stable voice in your stories. If you can, this period of instruction has been sucessful, if not, feel free to leave a comment below. Please don't PM me with questions about these periods of instruction, the reason for this is not that I don't like recieving PM's rather I LOVE them! The reason for this is because if you have a question someone else might as well, so if I post the answer here, more people than just you can see the answer.

That concludes this period of instruction. Have a great day and no matter what happens, write, write, WRITE!

God Bless...



A. E. Rotramel
RTW

Again, a most marvelous lesson. Reported for sticky.

Great lesson! This definetly deserves a sticky!

I agree that all of these lessons should be stickies, but may I suggest putting them under the original topic to save space? Just a thought. (You could put the lesson number in the Subject box when typing it.)

Another great lesson that I'm sure will benefit everyone.
-LWf

That's a good idea Lonewolf, I shall do that from now on. THe next lesson will be on suspense, how to create it and how to use it in your stories. It should be up later this afternoon.

Have a great day, and remember, no matter what happens, write, write, WRITE!

God bless...

- RTW

Period of Instruction
18 May 07

BALTO SOURCE
FAN FICTION SECTION
DESK OF RTW
BALTOSOURCE.TIMDURU.ORG/BALTO.HTML


To: My fellow writer's on Baltosource

From: Anthony E. Rotramel (RTW)

Subj: Lesson #3 of -- in the continuing series of writing lessons from RTW: Suspense

Learning Objectives (LO):

1.) To be able to recgonise the elements of suspense within a story

2.) TO be able to set up suspense in your own story

3.) To be able to use suspense effectively in your own stories


Purpose: The purpose of this period of instruction is to provide my fellow writers on Baltosource, both those that have experince and those that are just getting into this exciting activity, with information to help them write better and more efficiently.


1.) Recognising elements of suspense within a story.

a.) As writer's our ultimate goal is to provide our readers with an interesting story that will allow them to enter an alternate world and for a brief moment, leave their own behind. This is what writing is truly about, the reader. In order for us to probide this kind of experience for the reader, we must catch his/her attention and keep it through a story so that he/she does not get bored and stop reading. This is our ultimate failure as a writer. One of the many ways we can capture our reader's attention is to keep them guessing, give them an idea of what might happen, but not telling them anything for sure. This is called suspense. In the following Period of instruction we will discuss what makes up suspense, how to create it and how to utilize it effectively.

b.) We can create suspense easily. It can be confusing at first sometimes, but the more you use it the easier it becomes. Let's start with choosing a character to target our suspense on. I'm going to use Aleu, simply because I LOVE her character. (I know that there are some of you out there who hate Aleu... this I cannot understand, but I suppose you're all entitled to your own opinions...) It is easier to create suspense if your target is someone or something your readers care for, something they are afraid to lose. Suspense isn't the actual loss of this someone or something, but the danger that it could be lost. If for example I were to write this section into my story... (I'll see if I'm even capable of writing this...)


Aleu was walking through the forest, looking desperately for her children.
"Where could they be?" She thought. "I wasn't gone but for five minutes."
Suddenly a shot rang out and she fell to the ground, unmoving, a large hole in her face.

There is no suspense in that section, none at all. Our reader is probably going to question our judgement as a writer for killing one of our core characters, and with no payoff, the reader will most likely give up on the story. However, conisder this section...

Aleu was walking through the forest, looking desperately for her children.
"Where could they be?" She thought. "I wasn't gone but for five minutes."
As she continued to walk through the woods, a hunter tracked her with his rifle, settling the crosshairs on her shoulder, just as he was about to fire however, Aleu took off running, having found the scent of her children.
The hunter cursed under his breath and queitly walked down to the spot where Aleu had stood not one minute ago. He found some tracks and set off after her.
He would bring her down eventually.
"...even if it kills me." The hunter thought.

Now, in that passage we have created suspense. Notice no real harm came to our character (Aleu) suspense is rather the illusion of harm or the threat of harm coming to our character's. Once our character's are hurt by the object of our suspense (the hunter in the above example) the suspense itself is gone. Suspense is the reader asking himself what's going to happen. In the first example we have no suspense because the reader sees Aleu die, indeed we didn't even tell the reader that the hunter was out there. Instead we simply shocked them by dropping one of our main characters. (The shock factor can be useful too, but only in extremely controled situations.) In the second section we provided the reader with several questions. The first questions were posed in this passage.

"As she continued to walk through the woods, a hunter tracked her with his rifle, settling the crosshairs on her shoulder.."

While reading this passage, the reader's mind is going to switch from concern about Aleu's missing children to "Holy Crap there's a hunter!" Then as they go on to "settling the crosshairs on her shoulder" they're going to ask themselves. "Is he going to kill her? Will he only wound her? Will someone save her? Then they move on to this passage.

"...just as he was about to fire however, Aleu took off running, having found the scent of her children."

That was an effective, if very short example of suspense within a story. Now in their minds the danger has passed, Aleu is safe, and their hearts begin to slow down. ...but they're wrong.. as tjey find out when they come to this passage.

"The hunter cursed under his breath and queitly walked down to the spot where Aleu had stood not one minute ago. He found some tracks and set off after her.
He would bring her down eventually.
"...even if it kills me." The hunter thought.

Now, we have created suspense, not only for this scene, but for the entire story until the hunter shows up again. To effectively use this suspense, now would be a great time todo a scene change and leave Aleu alone for a while. In the reader's mind, no matter what happens in the following scenes, he/she will be thinking about that hunter stalking Aleu, for some unknown reason. The questions that the reader will ask now are: Why does the hunter want to kill Aleu? Will Aleu survive? These questions will keep them reading, because if they stop now, they'll never know the answer. Remember though, danger doesn't always have to be physical, sometimes emotional danger (love, hate, ext.) can be even more useful in creating suspense. I'm going to use one of my own stories as an example here. That's the 5th one I wrote. It's called: "Balto: A Broken Trust" In this story Balto is framed by a jealous female who says that Balto slept with her, breaking he and Jenna apart. During this story there was very little physical "danger", yet it kept a suspense level. The reason for this was that you didn't ever know if Balto and Jenna were going to get back together or not, if Balto was going to be able to prove his innocence. Even though there was little physical "danger" the thing that was in danger was love, an emotion, and the physical relationship between Balto and Jenna. This created a theme of suspense that held through the entire story.

c.) Suspense is easy to create in your own stories, just think of what your readers will be thinking when they read it, and select things to make them ask questions, and don't give them the answers immediatly, this will create suspense and keep your reader intrested in your story. Also, when you do give your readers information, withold crucial details to use later, that way you can stretch out the suspense as far as possible. Let's go back to our example. Say we went to a few scenes back in Nome with Balto after the Aleu vs. Hunter scene. Now, it's time to bring back the hunter, but let's see how we can can stretch out the suspense.

The hunter crept through the woods, careful to keep very quiet.
"...wouldn't want to give her any clues that I'm here..." The hunter thought with a smile.
As he ducked under a fallen log he saw a fresh pawprint in the mud.
"She's nearby..." He thought.
The hunter stood and looked cautiously around him.
It took a few minutes, but he finally saw her, standing in a clearing just ahead filled with kneee-high grass.
"I've got you now." He thought, rasing his rifle to his shoulder. "You're going to pay for everything you've done."
He let the crosshairs of his scope drift across her flank.
"heh, heh, left hand over your heart wolfie." He said.
Then, so as not to throw off his aim, he ever so gently squeezed the trigger.
A shot split the forest...

Now, you might say "What are you doing? I thought you said earlier not to let him harm her?"
I know, I know, now, let me explain. Yes, I did say don't let him harm her, however, what I probably should have said is don't let him kill her. (The ultimate "bad" that can come from the suspense) Now, you'll also notice that I didn't specify whether he hit her or not. There are many questions posed from this passage such as: "DID HE KILL HER?! What has she done to the hunter to make him want to kill her? Who is the hunter, and did he even hit her. ...and now? ...you guessed it, change scenes, leave your reader asking these questions with no answers. You're probably thinking, "...but that's mean!" Yes, it is, but this is writing, and your reader will apreciate it in the long run because he/she will have a much more entertaining experience when reading your story. Keep this going, next time, you might jump to having Shadow followed her, and saved her at the last second. Maybe she got shot but not killed. Maybe she saw the hunter just in the nick of time and ran away again. Whatever the result, keep the hunter as a threat, and your suspense will continue to run. You can imagine suspense as you (the writer) holding a two ton weight by a rope over your character's heads. when you give them little pieces of information, you let the rope slip a little, dropping the weight toward your characters. The readers gasp, their hearts jump into their throats, and then you pull it up, waiting for a good time to drop the weight again.

2.) Now you should be able to recognise and write suspense within your stories. If you can, this period of instruction has been sucessful, if not, feel free to leave a comment below. Please don't PM me with questions about these periods of instruction, the reason for this is not that I don't like recieving PM's rather I LOVE them! The reason for this is because if you have a question someone else might as well, so if I post the answer here, more people than just you can see the answer. That concludes this period of instruction. Have a great day and no matter what happens, write, write, WRITE!

God Bless...



A. E. Rotramel
RTW

I agree with everything you said. Thank God I read all your storys before I begain writing, or I'd have to go back and redo everything!!! That would reak!!!
Anyway, when you get one of you'r VERY few brakes, could you please PM me? I left a few messages in your in-box. Thanks...
LOL
-CW

Nice one! I'll be sure to use this idea in the future! Thanks again RTW!!!

I'm so glad I saw these RTW, I can't even tell you how much I appreciate what you do. Not only do you open up a little door for us to explore whenever we want to a world of amazing stories and amazing characters, but you even go out of your way to help us open that door for others as well. Thank you so much, and I can't wait for your next lesson, and even more importantly, your next story.

Second post ever. Thanks yet again RTW for both of those lessons. You taught me well. It made me think that there's a lot more to writing than meets the eye. With this knowledge, I shall also apply it to all of my writings. I hope there's more to come, because as a writer, you are the one creating the worlds and the characters therein. There has to be a lot of advanced tricks to writing that I can't wait to learn about. I thank you so much for all of the work you've put in so far. I am inspired even more after reading this. I am off to write. Catch you all later.

Period of Instruction
18 May 07

BALTO SOURCE
FAN FICTION SECTION
DESK OF RTW
BALTOSOURCE.TIMDURU.ORG/BALTO.HTML


To: My fellow writer's on Baltosource

From: Anthony E. Rotramel (RTW)

Subj: Lesson #4 of -- in the continuing series of writing lessons from RTW: Horror

Learning Objectives (LO):

1.) To be able to recgonise the elements Horror in a story

2.) To be able to set up horror in your own story

Purpose: The purpose of this period of instruction is to provide my fellow writers on Baltosource, both those that have experience and those that are just getting into this exciting activity, with information to help them write better and more efficiently.


I.) Recognising elements of horror within a story.

1.) As writer's our ultimate goal is to provide our readers with an interesting story that will allow them to enter an alternate world and for a brief moment, leave their own behind. This is what writing is truly about, the reader. One of the purposes of a reader reading a story is to travel to alternate worlds that they might be unable or unwilling to experience in real life. One of these alternate worlds that the reader is reluctant to enter in real life is that of horror. Few people truly want to be stalked by a phychopathic killer in the dark woods surrounding an abbandoned cabin, or hunted by the ghost of some long dead villain, yet in a story these ideas are desirable as they release adrenaline into the body which, in the right amounts, can cause an almost euphoric high. Most people believe they cannot truly be frightened by a mere story as a story lacks the visual stimulation of a motion picture. However it is easier to scare a reader than it is a veiwer if one considers the scene carefully. In a movie the veiwer may or may not see the hand that creeps along the wall as the hero makes his way down a darkened hallway. However, as a writer you control exactly what the reader "sees". To this end if you consider your scene carefully you can set up a chain of events that will lead your reader to that euphoric high I mentioned earlier. This period of instruction will provide my fellow writers with the information that they need to be able to write horror effectively.

2.) Elements of horror

a.) Setting

The setting of a horror story is paramount to the stories success. The scene must invoke a feeling of hopelessness, or no escape. It is also usually dark and shadowy, giving the reader plenty of options for where the phychotic killer might be lying in wait for your hero/heroine. See Lesson #1 for a complete description on how to set up your setting correctly.

b.) Villians

Any good story must have a villian of some kind. A villian is commonly known as the antagonist. Yes, you have probably heard that word in school. The antagonist is the force that opposes our hero. A villian is especially integral to a horror story. Every horror story is remembered primarily for it's villian, not it's heroes. The villians are the focal point of a horror story, and in some cases they can even be allowed to win. Think about some of the more well known horror movies and you will see what I'm talking about. Hellraiser - Pinhead, Friday the 13th - Jason Voorhees, Nightmare on Elmstreet - Freddy Crueger. ...does anyone remember the heroes that finally triumphed over these villians? ...personally I don't, and I don't think many others do either. The villian must be carefully considered in a horror story because he will drive the emotional response of the reader. We'll analyze the three villians I named earlier and see what exactly makes them so terrifying to us.
In Hellraiser Pinhead is named as the prince of hell. He is a demonic enity who is sadistic to the extreme and the boundry between pain and pleasure blurs in the sheer ecstasy of experience. He is called into the world via an anchient puzzle box called the Labyrinth Chronicle. When a human solves the puzzle Pinhead and hispast victims, known as centobytes show up and torture the unwitting victim. There is no escape from Pinhead, no way to dispell the magic that called him into the world. The person who solved the box is eventually killed by him and turned into a centobyte in hell to carry out his wishes against future victims. Pinhead is terrifying because of his sheer sadistic quality, the absolute joy his derives from the suffering of others, and his relentless and unstoppable pursuit of his victims. He is personally my favorite horror villian.
In the Friday the 13th stories Jason Voorhees is a man who returns from the grave to wreak vengeance on the people of earth because of the death of his mother. His mother was killed in the first film because she was hunting a group of young people who were trying to re-establish Camp Crystal Lake, a summer camp where her son drowned because of the lackluster attention of the camp councilors. When his mother was killed Jason returned from hell with a vengeance, slaughtering countless hundreds of young people who dared to venture to the Camp where he and his mother met their deaths. Though he died as a boy he returns as a full grown man and always has something to cover his face. He is extremely hard to kill and is very good at killing himself. This is what is horrifying about him. The way he cold bloodedly stalks from one victim to the next showing no emotion whatsoever. The movies used suspense to great effect and kept veiwers guessing as to what was only a sound against the window, and what was Jason outside. He favors blades more often than not using a wide assortment of axes, machetes, knives and the like to dispatch his victims.
Nightmare on Elmstreet introduced the world to Freddy Crueger, a man who stalks people in their dreams. This is a wholly frightening concept... for who among us has not had a bad dream? ...however when Freddy invades people's dreams he butchers them in horrifying ways. The concept was pure genius for the horror genre as there is truly no escape. The only way to meet him and thus confront him was to go to sleep, and when you dreamed you were in his realm... and unable to resist him. This was a terrifying idea, and one that continues to be popular with audiences today.
Hopefully these examples of three of the most notable horror villian have given you an idea of what to expect and look for when searching for a horror villian to drive your own story. The horror villian should appear to be unstoppable, you want to create a feeling for your readers of no esacpe of there being no way out for your characters... indeed in the horror genre it is wholly acceptable for your character not to escape the killer... for evil to win. This is the most terrifying event of all. The horror villian should have something about him that stands out as inordinary. with Pinhead it was the hundreds of nails he had tapped into his skull and his sadistic nature. With Jason it was a simple hockey mask that even today is associated with the killer and with Freddy it was the horribly scarred face and blades he could extend from his finger tips. The goal is to frighten your reader, go all out. However, if you are planning to publish on this site, do consider the rules and endeavor to stay within them. I push them to the limit sometimes myself, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that, but do be careful not to go too far over the line.
It bears mentioning here that villians do dispicable things, they murder without conscience, they have no feelings whatsoever. Some on this site will disagree with me on this point, but villians should be hated for what they do, and that means they have to do bad things. Writing about a villian who coldbloodedly kills off your characters one by one does not mean you endorse such behavior or any way think it is right, it is only a story, an event of the imagination and should be left there. To that end, pretty much anything goes in a horror fic. Again be considerate of the rules and be sure to include a warning at the beginning of your fic detailing what the story contains (blood, gore, disturbing imagery ect.) so that those readers who may not like such things do not stumble into what they do not wish to see (or read), but with horror villains, morality is not a concern to them, chunk it out the window. If you do not disagree with this statement please do not start a war on this thread. Feel free to post a rant in the rant section if you like, and I would encourage you to post a link to such a topic as a reply to this one so that I can defend my stance, but please do not rant in this topic. I am talking to one member in particular and I think you know who you are.

C.) Canon Fodder

When I say cannon fodder I am refering to the secondary characters that will be killed off earlier in the story. More often than not these characters have some sort of relationship with the protagonist(s) (main characters), whether that be friends, family, or lovers. Many writers do not flesh out these characters much as they know they intend to kill them soon, and don't want to waste effort on constructing a good character and then killing it off. ...this is wrong and results in "cardboard characters" that your reader won't be hurt too much to see die. When writing a horror story you want to horrify your reader. They must care about the cannon fodder just as much as the protagonist(s). To this end, flesh out your cannon fodder as if you intend them to be recurring characters. Give them a backstory, love interests. Show the reader who they are and let the reader fall in love with them... then let your villian slaughter them heh heh. This will evoke the sense of horror and loss that you are looking for much better.



D.) Plot

The typical plot of a horror story looks like a set of small hills with a taller one at the end. You have the beginning, which should set up the story and introduce the characters. It should give the veiwer time to get to know your main characters as well as your cannon fodder. Then the killer shows up and the first hill starts rising upward to a mini-climax. This climax is the villian's first kill, the death of your first cannon fodder. Then things get quiet again while the remaining characters discover the former cannon fodder's body and begin to try to figure out how they died. The hill starts rising again as your second cannon fodder is stalked and eventually killed. The hill drops again after that, but tension needs to continue to run higher, so don't let it drop back to calm. With two deaths now your remaining characters are sure to know something isn't right. With each death the hill falls less and less, the tension gets higher and higher until you finally reach your climax, the point where your hero confronts the villian and either triumphs somehow, or dies... then the tension dies down and you should write a bit of a conclusion. Leaving your readers on the edge of tension at the end of a horror story is just unfair... but fun sometimes ha ha.

So those are the true elements of horror, lets try writing a short one together shall we?

2.) To Set Up the Elements of Horror in Your Own Stories

For this next section I am going to write a short horror story. This story will be infinitely shorter and somewhat incomplete, but it will provide you with an example of what to shoot for in your own horror stories. Periodicaly I will stop and explain why I did things the way I did. So, on to the first scene...


"Balto's eyes fluttered open and he blinked a few times to clear his blurry vision. He felt something in his shoulder and looked down at it. There was a shiny silver dart sticking out of it. Balto remembered then the events of this morning. He'd been on his way to see Jenna. The morning had been crisp with a slight breeze. Balto had never felt so alive. Then he remembered turning down an alley and coming face to face with a human. In the human's hands was a gun and on the ground before him was...
Balto didn't even want to think about it.
He sighed as his memory was flooded with images of her crimson fur, her eyes had been shut lightly as if sleeping. Though only a few seconds had transpired in that alley it had given Balto more than enough time to realize who the dog was, only an instant was required to recognize the beautiful body of his beloved mate.
Balto had snarled and run at the man who then raised his rifle...
...and that was all he remembered.
Balto leaned down and pulled the dart from his shoulder with his teeth and spit it on the ground. Then he stood up and looked around.
He appeared to be in a building, though it was too dark for him to really make out much. Old furniture was scattered about the room, covered in dusty white sheets that looked like they hadn't been moved in ages.
Balto looked down at the dart on the floor and his spirit soared. "If I was shot with a dart, then perhaps Jenna was too!" He thought. He took a tenative step forward and tried to make out the shapes in the shadows that the room held, trying to discern if they held potential enemies... but it was too dark. The only light came from the moonlight streaming through the windows.
Balto made his way to the door."


Okay, so we set up the scene. Balto has been abducted by an unknown assailent and his girl (Jenna) is in danger. The setting is suitably dark, but not yet horrific. Notice the way I described just enough to place the reader in the room, but I didn't over describe the room because I want the reader to be as unsure as Balto about what it contains, that way when Balto is surprised so will the reader be. ...let's see what Balto finds in the next room...

"As Balto stepped through the door he came into a long hallway. The walls were wooden planks and were coated in a thin layer of gray dust. He walked forward and carefully made his way down the hall. His every muscle straining at the ready to leap away from whatever should leap at him from the shadowy blackness. His fur stood on end and his heart thundered in his chest. Balto saw yellowish light streaming from a door toward the end of the hall and he carefully walked toward it. His paws making hardly a whisper on the wooden planks.
It took Balto only a minute to make it to the small room. He stepped into the light and glanced into the room.
A stainless steel table was set up in the middle of the room. Alongside it was a steel tray, containing what... Balto could only guess.
A man was huddled over the table and his arms were moving feverishly.
Balto heard yelps of pain and agony. He wanted to run, his every cell urged him to retreat back to the room and get away from whatever evil act was happening in this room. ...but something kept him wired to this spot, unable to move.
The man stepped away and Balto gasped.
Strapped to the table was a young stray husky Balto had seen in Nome. The young female was lying on her back, her legs held down by tight leather straps. Her belly had been sliced open with a well placed surgical cut and it was empty. Whatever had been in there had been removed by the man, who Balto could now see wielded a sharp scalpal in his blood stained left hand.
Balto watched in horror as the female turned her head to look at him. Her eyes wide with pain and disbelief. Due to her horrific injuries the dog was unable to speak, she only mouthed the words "...help me."
She was still alive.
Balto turned and ran across the hall, darting into a darkened room.
There was nothing he could do for the young female, nothing anyone could do but put her out of her misery."

Okay, so there's yet another scene. You notice I described the state of Balto's body, the fact that his fur stood on end, his muscles were tense with anticipation and his heart was thudding in his chest. This is because often when you do this the reader takes on those feelings. As they get drawn more and more into the story they will begin to exhibit vital signs that match your hero, such as pulse and possibly even breathing rate. I've often finished a particularly tense scene in a book I was reading only to realize I'd been holding my breath... without knowing it. The mind is a very powerful tool and it can do a lot, such as simulate conditions that do not exist.
Next I introduced our villian. Every horror story must have a villian. ...something that pursues our hero, something horrible that threatens him or the ones he loves. As of yet our reader's don't know too much about our villian, other than he just eviscerated a dog while it was still alive. You will notice that I didn't overly describe the gore and specifics of the evisceration. That isn't truly neccesarry. The reader is painting a picture in their minds as we go. Reader's are particularly good at filling in very specific details. Especially here on Baltosource it is important to remember that our audience (while comprised largely of mature teens and adults) could be young children. We want to stay within the boundries set by the mods here so that our stories don't get rejected. Though all I said was "Her belly had been sliced open with a well placed surgical cut and it was empty. Whatever had been in there had been removed by the man, who Balto could now see wielded a sharp scalpal in his blood stained left hand." The reader is going to invision blood covering the dog's fur and the man as common sense will lead you to discover that if you cut open something's belly you will experience blood flow. ...it wasn't necessary for me to describe it to that detail to create a scene of horror and disbelief for our character. So, on to the next scene...

"Balto's mind was filled the horrific images of what he had just witnessed. The room was dark and so he didn't see the objects in front of him until he collided with them. The stack of objects fell upon him and partially buried him as he ran headlong into it.
Balto felt fur agianst his own and opened his eyes to see a glass eye staring back at him from the sockets of a long dead dog. He was covered in them. They were rigid, but had not decayed...
...they were stuffed.
Balto howled in horror and tried to free himself, but the weight of the dgos had pinned him and he was unable to do so.
Balto heard heavy footsteps cross into the room, and though he couldn't see the door he knew what they were...
...the footsteps of the killer, of the man in the lit room.
Terror filled Balto and he began to struggle all the more, but his struggles were in vain. The weight of the dogs was just too much. There must have been at least twenty of them on top of him, all of them staring back at him through glass eyes with the same empty blank stare.
Balto felt some of the pressure on his body loosen and he began to try to free himself again. However something grabbed his paw and drug him across the floor. Balto turned and tried to snap at the man's hand, but a leather muzzle was quickly and skillfully tossed around his face and strapped at the back of his head.
The man put a collar with a metal chain looped through it around Balto's neck and then started walking toward the door.
Balto resisted with every ounce of strength in his body, but it was no use. He was being drug down the hallway, enoxerably to the same room he'd woken in.
Finally the man stopped and looped the chain around a wooden post, tying balto to it.
He patted Balto on the head and smiled at him evily.
Then without a word the man turned and walked away.
Balto tugged at the chain, trying to escape, but he soon gave it up. It was no use. The chain was secured tightly. He slowly sunk to the floor in. His mind was filled with the images of those dogs in the other room. There had been so many... what if one of them was Jenna? What if he was too late to save his beloved mate... could he even save himself? Balto's mind was soon lost, drowning in a pool of dispair..."

Okay, in that scene I again introduced an element of horror. We showed the reader what most likely lies in store for our hero should he not triumph over the villian, and we placed our character in a hopeless dark position of simply waiting for that fate...
I know earlier I said that I was going to write a short horror story... but I've since had a better idea... why don't you finish it. I've set up a decent story given you all the elements you need... I want to see what you can come up with off the top of your head. Don't worry about how good it is or isn't. Just write and see what you come up with. I'll be happy to read them if you place a link to your story in this thread. Feel free to copy the first of the story written here onto the first of your own, or re-word it, whichever suits you best... let's see what you can come up with... think of this as a writing assignment from RTW. I'll be glad to critique them if you like, just let me know when you post your thread... with that... well I guess I've pretty much covered horror. I'll be waiting for you to post your threads and can't wait to see what you come up with. For an example of a horror story on site, see Balto Darkness and Balto Nightmare in Nome.

2.) Now you should be able to recognise and write horror within your stories. If you can, this period of instruction has been sucessful, if not, feel free to leave a comment below. Please don't PM me with questions about these periods of instruction, the reason for this is not that I don't like recieving PM's rather I LOVE them! The reason for this is because if you have a question someone else might as well, so if I post the answer here, more people than just you can see the answer. That concludes this period of instruction. Have a great day and no matter what happens, write, write, WRITE!

God Bless...



A. E. Rotramel
RTW

Mr RTW has done it again!

This should be a definite read for ALL wanting to write.

This should get a sticky! It's amazing!

This is an excellent lesson! Great job!