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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:53 am 
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Conay wrote:
Dragon Tamer wrote:
I have one.

After thousands and thousands of years, the human race decided they didn't need God. So they chose their brightest scientist to tell Him they weren't going to listen to Him anymore.
"It's nothing personal," the man said. "It's just that we've cured diseases, solved the mysteries of the universe, we can clone people... basically, we don't need you for anything now."
God nodded at this and said, "Well, I'll tell you what. Let's each make a man from dirt. Whoever does the best job wins."
"Okay." The scientist scooped up some dirt.
"No no," God told him, "Get your own dirt."


Umm...

Yeah...

Not everyone will get this, and some will probably get ticked. But I had to tell it anyway.

And for those who do get it, it's hard to argue with.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 11:49 pm 
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In the Bible, it rained for 40 days. They called it a disaster. In England, we call it 'Summer.'

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:22 am 
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I thought of a way to make fireworks appeal to teenage girls: vampire-shaped sparklers. *badum-tssh*

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:49 am 
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Origamist wrote:
I thought of a way to make fireworks appeal to teenage girls: vampire-shaped sparklers. *badum-tssh*

I love it, I LOVE it! XD

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 8:53 pm 
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I wonder if we've named all the streets around the Olympic Village yet. How about Port Stanley Way, Falkland Road, Woodward Avenue, Invincible Crescent, Hermes Street and best of all, let's call the road leading to the main Olympic Stadium Conqueror Avenue.

How about we name the accommodation: Goose Green, Mount Tumbledown, Plymouth House, and for the athletes for one particular nation, Menendez Retreat?

Oh, and don't forget the toilets! They HAVE to be Galtieri Urinals and the Kirchner Bidet Suite.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:34 am 
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Location: Detroit Rock City - They don't call it that for nothing!!
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Conay wrote:
I wonder if we've named all the streets around the Olympic Village yet. How about Port Stanley Way, Falkland Road, Woodward Avenue, Invincible Crescent, Hermes Street and best of all, let's call the road leading to the main Olympic Stadium Conqueror Avenue.

How about we name the accommodation: Goose Green, Mount Tumbledown, Plymouth House, and for the athletes for one particular nation, Menendez Retreat?

Oh, and don't forget the toilets! They HAVE to be Galtieri Urinals and the Kirchner Bidet Suite.


We have a Woodward Avenue here in Detroit.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 3:56 pm 
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I heard that China has a billion people. A billion people--which means, if you're one-in-a-million, there's still 1000 other people EXACTLY like you!

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 8:53 pm 
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"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"

Sony 16:9

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:51 am 
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^ *facepalm*

Wanna hear a Canadian swear word?






Justin Bieber

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:35 pm 
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Location: Dartford, Kent, England, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Nothern Ireland, Europe, Planet Earth.
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^ *Face-desk* :D

Q and A on Pregnancy

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:12 am 
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Conay wrote:
^ *Face-desk* :D

Q and A on Pregnancy

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

I'm tempted to show this to the manager at the camp where I work; his wife is expecting.

For those who found this post funny, read this too. /adgth/en ... 53217.html

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:04 pm 
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Animation Source is my home!
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Dragon Tamer wrote:
I'm tempted to show this to the manager at the camp where I work; his wife is expecting.

For those who found this post funny, read this too. /adgth/en ... 53217.html


Haha, I showed a shorter version to a pregnant teacher, she absolutely loved it.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:27 pm 
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Conay wrote:
Dragon Tamer wrote:
I'm tempted to show this to the manager at the camp where I work; his wife is expecting.

For those who found this post funny, read this too. /adgth/en ... 53217.html


Haha, I showed a shorter version to a pregnant teacher, she absolutely loved it.

Of the list or the fanfic?

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:30 pm 
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Animation Source is my home!
Animation Source is my home!

Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:39 pm
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Location: Dartford, Kent, England, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Nothern Ireland, Europe, Planet Earth.
Gender: Male
Dragon Tamer wrote:
Conay wrote:
Dragon Tamer wrote:
I'm tempted to show this to the manager at the camp where I work; his wife is expecting.

For those who found this post funny, read this too. /adgth/en ... 53217.html


Haha, I showed a shorter version to a pregnant teacher, she absolutely loved it.

Of the list or the fanfic?


Oh, the list. It was just after I first discovered it.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:31 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2006 10:35 pm
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Ah.

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