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Not everyone will get this, and some will probably get ticked. But I had to tell it anyway.

And for those who do get it, it's hard to argue with.

In the Bible, it rained for 40 days. They called it a disaster. In England, we call it 'Summer.'

I thought of a way to make fireworks appeal to teenage girls: vampire-shaped sparklers. *badum-tssh*

I love it, I LOVE it! XD

I wonder if we've named all the streets around the Olympic Village yet. How about Port Stanley Way, Falkland Road, Woodward Avenue, Invincible Crescent, Hermes Street and best of all, let's call the road leading to the main Olympic Stadium Conqueror Avenue.

How about we name the accommodation: Goose Green, Mount Tumbledown, Plymouth House, and for the athletes for one particular nation, Menendez Retreat?

Oh, and don't forget the toilets! They HAVE to be Galtieri Urinals and the Kirchner Bidet Suite.

We have a Woodward Avenue here in Detroit.

I heard that China has a billion people. A billion people--which means, if you're one-in-a-million, there's still 1000 other people EXACTLY like you!

"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"

Sony 16:9

^ *facepalm*

Wanna hear a Canadian swear word?






Justin Bieber

^ *Face-desk*

Q and A on Pregnancy

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

I'm tempted to show this to the manager at the camp where I work; his wife is expecting.

For those who found this post funny, read this too. /adgth/en ... 53217.html

Haha, I showed a shorter version to a pregnant teacher, she absolutely loved it.

Of the list or the fanfic?

Oh, the list. It was just after I first discovered it.

Ah.